There are a couple of people I think are magic.

I think my sister's a bit magic. I live with my sister and when I get up in the morning, that day's newspaper is outside my bedroom door and the kitchen is polished and my sister is up and out in the world getting on with her day while I stumble to the fridge for my morning stare at the top two shelves.

The newspaper must get there by magic. She must have a magic wand that cleans the kitchen in silence. She's magic. I know it. I've always known it. When she was a kid she was magic, too. She made all her food last longer by growing it somehow while in the process of eating it and watching mine disappear.

Anyway, Paul the Magic Website Man is magic too. I don't know how come things can change overnight on a website but it's all still there, but they can, apparently, and they do. And Paul did it all on his birthday, with a hangover, and he did this too, where incidentally you can book tickets for our show that starts in two weeks.

Two weeks. That's also magic. Somebody shrank time.

Bastards.