March 2007

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Paris Hilton

Check this out. Paris Hilton as you've never seen her before:

Everyone Else

Since I wrote the post below, people have commented that I've been very busy and they've asked whether anyone else is involved with the show at all.

Apparently other people are involved. I reluctantly turn this space over to them here.

These are just some of the (very sensible) people involved in For We Are Young And Free...

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Emily (Genevieve) and Dylan (Dad) are very sensible indeed.

In fact, Emily is generally quite sensible:

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She is in stripes. Miriam (Paris Hilton) is carrying her books, Michael (the guy who wrote the Australian anthem) is on the right and Dylan (Dad) has a cup of tea.

At least our producer, Rita Walsh, brings some maturity to the table.

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(This is her - on the right - gossiping with Miriam).

And then finally, because there are no photos of the photographer anywhere, this is our design and publicity coordinator:

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... Just so that you know you're in good hands.

Evidence that stuff actually happens...

This is me trying to write a script...

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This is me trying to edit a script...

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And this is the script now...

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All of which makes me keeping a production diary kind of redundant, since these three photos tell the tale of the last six months better than I ever could. The only thing Stew didn't manage to photograph was the moment my hard drive crashed and I lost all my writing somewhere in between photograph two and photograph three. It's probably quite good there isn't a photograph of that. Just to finish off the series, here's a shot of me hanging around in the theatre we're going to be performing in this time tomorrow week...

I'm kind of subliminal and I look like I have one leg, but nevertheless it serves its purpose:

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And the photo of me the morning after our closing night will not, I repeat not, be making it onto this (or any other website) ever. In the universe. In perpetuity.

One week, one day, one minute to go!

One Week To Go!

In a week, we'll be preparing for opening night.

The long list of things I have to do by next week will either be

a) done

b) discarded

c) extended and/or replaced by an extended family of other lists

I am quietly confident in predicting the latter.

By the way, a special hello to Andrew Blain. He knows why. Our nerdy little secret.

Web Crash

The problem with writing everything on a laptop that is extremely convenient and can go with you everywhere and is very easy to use and has wireless internet...

... is that computers crash...

The problem with centering your entire publicity campaign (including ticket bookings) through your very funky and excitingly organised websites...

... is that websites crash...

And the problem with linking your email to your website...

Well I think you get the idea.

Anyhoo. Sorry to anyone who emailed us on Friday. Sorry to anyone who went to book tickets on Friday. Our website has never done that before. It decided it might try and loose all its data in the week before our show.

Good on it.

Thankfully, we are full to the brim with nerds at Standing There Productions. Central Nerd Command was manned on Friday by Stewart "Oh alright give me a look then" Thorn, with help from over the seas by Nick "I'm not strictly working on this project" Jaffe, and was closely monitored by Paul "My Life Is Flashing Before My Eyes" Daniel, who had just perfected the new design elements when they were sucked into the internet abyss.

I'd like to thank our nerds. Our nerds are the best nerds in town. Standby nerd Andrew "The Original Kingnerd" Blain was subbed in off the bench a few weeks ago when Stewart was at the movies, so special mention to him as well, natch.

You are, every one of you, princes among men.

And by the way, could one of you possibly come and have a look at my email settings? There's something I'm trying to do with the email signature. Thanks.

Directing

According to Wikipedia, a theatre director "is a principal in the theatre field who oversees and orchestrates the mounting of a play by unifying various endeavors and aspects of production".

Which is obviously a very helpful description when someone asks you, "What exactly does a director do?", which is a question I get asked surprisingly often.

I say surprisingly often because, to me, people should be asking what writers do. Writers are the the ones who spend a lot of their time deleting and redrafting and reading things and getting distracted and researching a completely redundant potential plot line and then cleaning out the entire fridge and organsing all their New Yorker magazines in chronological order with the fiction editions in a special section to the right of the...

Never mind.

Anyway. Wikipedia also divides theatre directors into types. The dictator, the negotiator, the creative artist and the confrontationalist.

They all sound like wankers to me. None of which helps me answer "What exactly does a director do?"

Anyway, fat lot of good the internet is. I looked up acting and I got this:

“Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing.”

Well anyone who has been on stage in August knows that isn't true.

She's still, she's still Jenny from the block

Did you know Posh Spice's favourite food is still toast? That's your fact for the day. Just you WAIT until that piece of information surprises you when you're thinking about something else one day. Facts for the day are making me more and more lightheaded as the weeks pass. Only two weeks now until our comedy festival show, For We Are Young And Free. There are free tickets on our website and new photos although sadly none of the photos of me in rehearsals wearing my tracksuit pants made it on there. Can't imagine why not. You guys are really missing out. Maybe I should take some advice from Posh Spice: "I wear jeans more or less every day so it makes sense to me to spend that little bit more on something that my bottom will be relying on so much". My bottom has been relying on my jeans more than perhaps I realised. I like Paris Hilton more and more each day I read this Posh Spice book.

Websites, Pending Time

There are a couple of people I think are magic.

I think my sister's a bit magic. I live with my sister and when I get up in the morning, that day's newspaper is outside my bedroom door and the kitchen is polished and my sister is up and out in the world getting on with her day while I stumble to the fridge for my morning stare at the top two shelves.

The newspaper must get there by magic. She must have a magic wand that cleans the kitchen in silence. She's magic. I know it. I've always known it. When she was a kid she was magic, too. She made all her food last longer by growing it somehow while in the process of eating it and watching mine disappear.

Anyway, Paul the Magic Website Man is magic too. I don't know how come things can change overnight on a website but it's all still there, but they can, apparently, and they do. And Paul did it all on his birthday, with a hangover, and he did this too, where incidentally you can book tickets for our show that starts in two weeks.

Two weeks. That's also magic. Somebody shrank time.

Bastards.

Paris Again

I am sorry to bang on about this but isn't Paris Hilton just something else?

A Person Who Is Fabulous sent me a package in the mail that arrived today and which contained two books:

Confessions Of An Heiress: A Tongue In Chic Peek Behind the Pose (by Paris Hilton WITH Merle Ginsberg)

and

Victoria Beckham, That Extra Half Inch: Hair, Heels, and Everything In Between

Person Who Is Fabulous has helpfully highlighted some of the key passages with appropriate notes such as "For the love of GOD" (next to a photograph of what can only be described as a pubic bone jutting out like a verandah - pointing morbidly downwards to some material the size of a postage stamp only just covering a vital organ).

Previously, I had no interest in Victoria Beckham. Now, however, I have seen her mouth.

Fan. Tastic.

Thanks very much to Person Who Is Fabulous. You really have prevented me from getting a lot of things done. All in the name of research. Oh yes. Let the fun begin.

PS. Did you notice our new site? Here - you can buy tickets there! Already!

Yikes.

More Facts

More facts that I discovered while I was writing our comedy festival show:

1. It is easier to become a Canadian citizen if you are a nerd. There is a nerd loophole. Oh yes there is. Apparently they have a shortage. No such luck in Fitzroy.

2. Daryl Somers is only spelled with one "m". Who knew?

3. They think the music for the Austrian anthem was written by Mozart, but they're not sure. Great marketing tool, huh. Let's spread a rumour that ours was probably written by Kurt Cobain.

That's enough facts for today. Got to go do some work.

Keep your eye out for our new site - it'll be here soon, we promise.

Angry

So last night our short film I Could Be Anybody screened as part of the Angry Film Festival in Fitzroy. The festival itself went for four hours, which is like three weeks in Standing There Productions Time (we have our own time now) so it was a mammoth effort just to be there. Watching our film with an audience of strangers was fun though. I'd almost forgotten about the film, what with the play coming up. It was nice to see it again.

In other news, we have our first video coming up on the site soon, and the cast photos should be on the comedy festival website any day now. I'm working so hard it should be terrible but I'm having so much fun. Yay for being too busy and having not enough money! Yay for that! What could possibly go wrong...?... watch this space for details.

Research

Sometimes, when you're researching for some writing, you stumble across some crazy stuff.

Did you know that Bertolt Brecht, the revolutionary dramatist we all struggle to understand in year eleven drama classes, insisted that when he died, a stiletto heel be inserted into his heart?

Did you? Did you know that? Is that one of those things people know?

I did not know that. The doctors were apparently instructed to ensure he was dead, insert a stiletto heel in his heart, encase him in a steel coffin, and bury him.

AND THEY DID!!

What a nutter! What a fantastic story! Where are all the plays about Brecht being a nutter who lies somewhere in a steel box with a shoe in his most vital organ?!

I'm very excited. Extra information I wasn't looking for is so tantalising. Problem is, I have nothing to do with it, nowhere for it to go, and yet it is so delicious and begging to be known.

Over the last six months I have discovered the following while trying to find out other things:

1. Paris Hilton is distantly related to somebody called George Mason, best known as one of the "Founding Fathers" of the American Bill of Rights.

2. Paris Hilton is also related to Zsa Zsa Gabor.

3. The Australian anthem used to be the ABC news theme.

4. Paris Hilton's book was on the New York Times Best Seller List. It was written by somebody else.

5. Prince Charles and Prince William never travel together on the same aeroplane.

This last one has nothing to do with any of my research and is just a gratuitous extra fact thrown in because I heard it once.

See? Don't you feel enriched?

Have a lovely weekend and see you Tuesday at the screening of I Could Be Anybody at The Angry Film Festival at First Floor on Brunswick Street starting at 7.30. Obviously if I don't see you there then I will see you twice at our show during April. Huzzah!

But Wait, There's More...

And now let's add a producer...

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... how fun are rehearsals!?!

Cast, For We Are Young And Free

Hey so how hot is our cast...

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... and yes, we are starting a band.

Left to right: Michael Roper (who plays Peter Dodds McCormick, the bloke who wrote the Australian anthem), Dylan Lloyd (who plays Dad), Miriam Glaser (Paris Hilton) and Emily O'Brien-Brown (Genevieve).

And a very talented bunch they are too.

By the by, did I mention that our short film, I Could Be Anybody, is screening on Tuesday next week (13 March) at First Floor in Brunswick Street? Maybe I didn't mention that.

Films and Plays

So did I mention we're in a film festival?

Maybe I didn't mention that. Our short film is in the Angry Film Festival next Tuesday night. Not sure I said. It's in a bar. The bar serves drinks. To cool people. Like you.

Anyhoo, in other news, we had rehearsals for our play all day in my living room and I am completely exhausted and going to sleep way before my bedtime.

See you Tuesday. Did I mention Tuesday? See you there.

Angry Film Festival

Hey so guess what?

We're preparing for our comedy festival show and we're gearing up for an extremely busy month and suddenly, out of nowhere, we receive notification that our short film, I Could Be Anybody, is a finalist in the Angry Film Festival.

How. Exciting.

Anyhoo, you ALL MUST COME. This includes those of you who live overseas, on Mars, and in other dimensions as yet undiscovered by human beings.

Tuesday 13th, it's on. At First Floor in Brunswick Street. Go here to see what I'm talking about.

I can't wait to go and see it on a screen with other films. It's an exciting night, and it will be extremely cool to have a house packed with people we know and love, especially those of you who worked on it so many light years ago. See you there! Yay!

PS If you don't come, be prepared for name calling.

Work

Yesterday, I worked until five in the State Library. At five, I got a train to the production meeting we were having at a pub in Richmond. We talked about lighting, staging, sets, sound cues, production management, and the fine art of creating and amending pdf documents. Then I drove straight to rehearsal.

We rehearsed until after nine, at which point I went home and finished some documents, and I got up this morning at six in order to get to work by seven. That's dark o'clock, my friends. That's not my usual caper.

Victoria Law Foundation, where I work, was hosting Major Michael Mori and over a hundred legal VIPs in the State Library for breakfast. This might not mean a lot to some people, but Major Michael Mori is David Hicks' lawyer, and David Hicks was officially charged last night, after five years in Guantanamo Bay prison.

In other words, whatever other long-lasting international repercussions there might be, my central concern this morning was that I had to fight my way to work through a scrum of reporters.

The David Hicks case, when it's explained to you, really looks like a mistake. The most conservative people in Melbourne were gathered in that theatre this morning and it was a pretty stunned silence.

Better go. I have rehearsals til nine. They say sleep deprivation is a form of torture, although I'm sure it's less offensive when it's you who's torturing yourself.

Have a relaxing weekend. Bastards.