A few good reasons why the Bundanon artist residency is going to be grouse:

If you live next door to a writer…

1. Please don’t own a drum kit.

2. If in breach of rule #1, please don’t bring your contraband drum kit out into the backyard at three in the morning to just bang it about a bit for the sake of it when persons are trying to get a specific number of hours’ sleep under their belt so they can write early in the morning.

3. Please don’t steal other people’s rubbish bins. Writers have rubbish too.

4. If you absolutely must have loud conversations right outside where writers do their work, please make the conversations intriguing and refer whenever possible to love triangles, criminal pasts, missing persons and/or secret identities.

5. If you are a mute mime-artist, please move into my street.

That is all.