A writer is defined as one who:

- writes (books or stories or articles or the like) professionally (for pay)
- is able to write and has written something

... this is very depressing because it is ten past two in the morning and the above description not only fails to mention "stays up all night fiddling about with images in photoshop" but it also seems to imply that an ability to write or proof of having written is necessary in order to claim that one is a writer...

I must enrol in a course of some kind.