During my lunch break today I was looking at my CV because I'm giving it to someone so they can pay someone else to file it somewhere in alphabetical order. Don't you think CVs would be so much better if they were true representations of what you'd done in your life - of what you were good at, and bad at, and proud of, and regretted?

A CV is such an inaccurate record of someone's life. I don't care what your major was in university, answer this question: do you wash your cup in the office kitchen after your coffee or do you leave it in the sink and then pretend to hear your phone ringing in your office and scurry sneakily away? How do you waste your time? If the answer is, "I have long, drawn-out conversations with my co-workers about my children" then you're obviously quite a distinct personality type. If the answer is "I tend to email people I feel regretful about not catching up with" or "I usually drag out a task that involves walking somewhere, like, for instance, going to the post office", then you're obviously me... er, I mean, you're obviously another personality type altogether.

I think we should revamp the entire system. That's all I'm saying. It would make for much more functional workplaces and it would eradicate CV-only expressions such as "charged with overseeing the co-ordination of staff systems" (which is the sort of crap people used to write on their CVs when I worked in a job reading CVs. I figured out eventually that what they actually meant was "I was a secretary", when what it sounded like was "I ran the UN for a while just after I graduated"). Having been a secretary, I know that these two jobs are probably equally as demanding, but they are not the same thing.

Anyway. Have an excellent weekend, everyone. Be glad you're not the guy in the street outside my office who was driving a truck-load of dirt down a narrow laneway and the back of his truck fell off onto the road in the centre of the CBD. Now THAT is a bad day at the office.