Sometimes I think my friends are mocking me.

Here I am, limping through the final stages of a short film I'm doing for nothing, and all of a sudden I'm getting the distinct impression that other people's lives are not actually taken up discussing dropped frames, colour palettes and mistakes in the closing credits.

Much to my joy and somewhat to my befuddlement, I have recently attended the following events:

1) The wedding of my old school friend who should in my opinion still be getting chucked out of our info tech class for bad behaviour (nothing to do with me).

2) The wedding of a couple of friends from university, who (when I picture them) I always imagine in a student union meeting, eating vegan chocolate cake out of a recycled serviette.

3) The engagement of one of my oldest and dearest friends from school, whose crowning achievement so far in life has in my opinion been her uncanny ability to - after just moments of meeting someone - determine how many siblings he or she has, and in what order.

4) A dinner to celebrate my sister's graduation and the beginning of her training as a lawyer. That's just obscene because she should clearly still be seven and I should be eleven and we should be playing that fun game I invented called "Let's Clean Lorin's Room".

5) I have also discovered that some very amusing (married) friends of mine are pregnant. More precisely, she is pregnant. He is just grinning. And occasionally breaking into a white hot sweat.

So what is going on, precisely? Why have people suddenly started abandoning their reliable and, I can only imagine, stimulating posts as class clowns, sibling guessers, room cleaners, and student politicians? Have they not noticed that I trudge heroically on, doing the same sort of stuff I was doing when I first met them? Have they no respect?

Anyway, congratulations to all of them and if anyone CARES ANYMORE... our DVD is getting closer and our cast and crew screening will hopefully happen before the birth of any offspring resulting from the above disgusting list of life-changing events.

Meanwhile, I have an announcement to make. The pressure has overwhelmed me. Mum, Dad, I want you to sit down...

I'm thinking of buying a new bike helmet.