Yes, okay, look. I know it has been a little while since Standing There Productions actually made an appearance on our own website in any substantial way. I know that's against every rule in the company rule book. I know there is nobody out there now, reading this with a sigh of relief after almost a year of wondering what we might be up to.


Nevertheless, I'm going to update you because our absence in recent months has not been due to lack of activity on our part but rather too much activity and no time in which to report it.


This was always my problem with keeping a journal. I only had time to report on things when things were so boring that I had time to report on them. The exciting things were always happening to me. I couldn't stop the rollercoaster mid rotation and get out my little book and my pen and write "Dear Diary, today is turning out to be quite exciting". So it's my fault. I will admit that. The metaphorical rollercoaster has been spinning out of control and my pen remains untouched, with my journal, at the bottom of the bag in my lap, alongside a rotting apple and a tram ticket from three years ago.


In short, Stewart and Rita and I have been doing many different things and some things, quietly, together, under the auspices of our old friend, Standing There Productions. Those things are, as they so often are, slow and steady like the tortoise rather than fast like the hare but you know how that story ends. (You don't? Let me summarise: tortoise is a winner, hare looks like a bit of a dork).


Stew and Rita have been working on all kinds of film and TV projects since this time last year. I have always been childishly impressed by every tiny aspect of what they do and tend to think they're basically working on the next Spielberg film. Recently though, when the two of them get together and talk about work, I have no idea what it is they're saying. There's a language, you see, involving words like dolly and handicam and gaffer - words that seem fake, as though what we're dealing with isn't a multi-million dollar production but the intricate workings of a very popular neighbourhood cubbyhouse. I'm sure it's a lot more sophisticated than that, but I must admit that to me it feels like maybe they're both having me on and really they work for the railroads.


So. Strong chance Rits and Stew work for the railroads.


What about me? Well in the past year I've done a lot of things but here are some edited highlights. I wrote an article about the Melbourne International Comedy Festival for Meanjin, which is here and which I talked about here. I talked about respecting audiences here and about teachers and, well, revolting injuries here. I'm also still writing for the excellent Big Issue, which you should go out and buy more or less immediately.


Hopefully this isn't the last installment for another year but you know what? You never know when the metaphorical rollercoaster will chug into action and you'll be hurled through space again and into a future you didn't see coming (in my rollercoastering experience that future usually involves dizziness, giggles, and - frankly - a teensy bit of vomiting).


Hopefully this next rollercoaster brings us to a pot of gold as well. And a cubbyhouse with dollies and gaffers. That sounds like fun.