Stressed out writer to lady in coffee shop: How much is a cup of coffee?

WRITER SIFTS THROUGH SILVER COINS.

Lady in coffee shop: three dollars.

Stressed out writer: Oooh yay I think I have enough.

Lady in coffee shop: How much do you have?

Stressed out writer: I have three dollars thirty. But that’s okay because I think I get paid tomorrow.

Lady in coffee shop: That's all you have left in the world?

Stressed out writer: Oh, no, don't worry. No, I'm okay.

LADY IN COFFEE SHOP CLOSES MOUTH, GOES BEHIND COFFEE MACHINE, MAKES COFFEE.

EMERGES WITH BIGGEST COFFEE IN KNOWN UNIVERSE.

Lady in coffee shop: I made you a big one.

Stressed out writer: Oh, wow, you're lovely.

Lady in coffee shop: You keep the coins. You might want to get a tram.

STRESSED OUT WRITER LEAVES FEELING A MIXTURE OF GRATITUDE AND EMBARRASSMENT THAT COFFEE LADY THINKS SHE IS ON LAST LEGS AND ONLY CHANCE OF HOPE IS A TRAM TO SOMEWHERE ELSE.

WRITER HOPES LADY IN COFFEE SHOP IS DELUDED, NOT WRITER.

WRITER DRINKS COFFEE.

WRITER AS HIGH AS A KITE FOR THREE HOURS.

WRITER FINDS OUT IT'S NEXT WEEK SHE GETS PAID, NOT THIS WEEK. WRITER IS VERY GRATEFUL FOR TRAM MONEY.