Saw Harry Potter tonight. Me and five trillion other people squashed into too many hours worth of epic.

Did you know that epic does not mean long?

No. Epic means: noting or pertaining to a long poetic composition, usually centered upon a hero, in which a series of great achievements or events is narrated in elevated style.

Nowhere in there does it say epic needs to involve between two to three hours of facial grimacing.

I don't mean to knock the film, or the kids in it, or, you know, fun in general, but MY GOD there was a lot of pomp and not a great deal of circumstance in the last few movies I saw described as "epic".

Please stop with the epic. It makes my eyes tired.

There is bike riding to be done.