So, I know I'm supposed to be writing a show and everything, but...
2006 Standing There Productions Website Statistics That Made Me Laugh:
--> 69.4% of you come to the website for thirty seconds, or under, and then leave. Bastards.
--> Someone got to our site by searching "changeroomcam". Honestly.
--> I know a bloke who is repulsive, on many levels. His name is on our website from an era before we discovered precisely how many levels he was repulsive on. He has googled himself at least five times in the last year. Haha! Knob!
--> But having said that, there is nothing wrong with googling oneself, within reason. There is a slight possibility - I haven't checked this - that everyone mentioned on this website has been googled. Most probably by themselves. I know I've done it. If I didn't, I wouldn't know that there is a very speedy long distance runner in America called Lorin Clarke who does very well in many painful sounding events, and who I am proud to have as a namesake. Self googling is not a problem on its own. Once or twice? Fine. Five times? Self obsessed wanker. Obviously.
--> Other searches that people have done to get them to our site include the following:
Medical questions were some of the highest searched...
"one pupil bigger than the other"/ "broken arm cast"/ "one pupil bigger than the other one"/ "broken arm" / "one pupil bigger than the other after concussion"/ "broken arm comments"/
"broken wrist cast"/ "slapface disease"
... etc... This just made feel sorry for everyone. My medical advice is as follows: rent some dvds and drink lots of water...
Confusion about the name of our company led a few people astray...
"standing room only productions"/ "where there's a will productions"/ "standing in the corner for punishment"/ "i was standing you were there"/ "a guy standing there"/ "photos of people standing around"...
And then there are just the plain odd...
"travolta"
"maths for music"
"vo vos"
"home work vandalism"
"funny old comedy radio programs"
"sodoku for visually impaired"
"leotard"
"commonwealth games village bad behaviour"
"who will the oscars" (who indeed)
"maths fun" (keep searching there buddy)
"where is charmaine's boyfriend"
"vegetarianism and the economy"
"melbourne gay photographers"
"hack productions" (I am drafting a letter to google as we speak. This is just insulting)
"fun with maths" (dude! GIVE UP!)
"poetry eclairs" (yum)
"get well grandma poems"
"rash and vomitting"
"photos of benicio del toro"
"karate girls"
something very nasty about Helen Razer
"jokes about law"
and my personal favourite:
"rita walsh computer".
2006. What a year.