Today, having returned my heart monitor to the crippled hospital system from whence it came, I am like a new woman. Less bionic, for starters.

Being sick, even if only melodramatically and without reason, makes you think about being healthy and climbing mountains on the weekend and drinking carrot juice and doing yoga that makes you barely break a sweat into your crisp white yoga outfit while eating yoghurt and almonds and wearing moisturising cream that makes your skin glow and sharing a joke with someone just off camera who has just said something amusing yet flattering. You know, like on the low fat margarine posters on bus stops.

You watch, it's all going to be different now. Either that, or I'm going to succumb to The Guilt and become a slave again to the written word (and the internet) (and Twinings).

Did you watch The Librarians on the ABC last night? Did you press pause over my name in the credits?

No? Just me then?

Carry on.